Here's Why I Am (Finally) Proud of My Dad

To escape from home, I decided to go to a high school with a high reputation, but far from my home, so I would have to live there.

Those were the years when I started to discover life through my own eyes, but also when I’d go through endless fights with my dad.

Debates about all and nothing, where none of us would ever admit being wrong.

99% of those topics were probably not important, but for the sake of it, we’d just argue and scream at each other endlessly.

Because he was my dad, I would end up shutting my mouth up in the end, frustrated and resentful.

Because I was his son, my dad would end up screaming louder than me, blaming me for being stubborn and arrogant.

During all those years, and up until my 20s, I thought my dad could just not understand me.

I felt lonely, and found myself proud of building my own life in my own terms, in opposition of what my dad thought was right.

I thought it was me, against him.

But I had no idea of what he was going through after being divorced. And I didn’t take time to put myself in his shoes.

Of course mistakes were not all on him, or all on me.

It was always both.

Back then, I couldn’t manage to be grateful for everything I had been given, and would only focus on what I was lacking, making my parents responsible for that.

But I did receive a great education, and the strong basis I got from my parents is the reason why I manage to go through my very own way, today.

When my dad sent me the invitation for his wedding, I noticed the date wasn’t right for me.

I was in the middle of developing the first bungalows for Reconnect, and would need to fly for at least a week to France, just for his wedding.

Interestingly, it’s after I left home, traveling by bicycle and settling in Bali, that my relationship with my dad really improved.

Time and distance probably helped us healing and becoming wiser.

Of course, I said to him I’d be there.

Even though it wasn’t the right time for me.
Even though my finances were fairly tight.

I hate going back to France, in general, because I just don’t feel right there. But I do appreciate the challenge and how it helps me being more stoic and resilient.

Right before the ceremony started, I was annoyed.

My dad pushed me to wear a suit even though I obviously don’t own any. And for some reason, I thought it’d be ok to come as I was, wearing casual clothes.

I was coming from the other side of the planet just for his wedding, after all.

But when I arrived at the city hall, I was happy I dressed well. It’s a weird convention that I don’t approve, but it made my dad happy, and it was his wedding.

I didn’t get to talk to him before the end of the official ceremony, and the sand ceremony.

He looked pale, and stressed.

The whole ceremony moved me a lot. It’s something special to see your own dad getting married.

After 13 years dating with her, he finally proposed her during Christmas, 2 years ago, when I made a surprise and came back to France without telling him.

He wasn’t supposed to do it that day, but because I was there, he went to buy a ring at the last minute, and kneeled in front of all of the family.

She said yes.

I said to him how proud I was.

After the sand ceremony and the speeches, I finally could talk to my dad.

He was now married again, after going through divorce, self doubt, and depression.

For 15 years, he had been rebuilding his life, after seeing it destroyed after a 20 year long marriage.

Relearning how to trust, how to live with someone, how to open his heart, how to be vulnerable, how to love.

When I looked at him, I was impressed, and I understood how much of a great example he was for me, and it took me all this time to see.

He burst in tears when I hugged him, and said: “Congratulations dad, I’m so proud of you.”

It was so intense I couldn’t describe it here.

He said he was also proud of me, and he was so happy I made the trip all the way until this small town of Sussargues, in the south of France, for his wedding.

This day was very special, and I know I will remember it for a while.

I didn’t want to be in France.
I didn’t want to wear a suit.

But doing it anyway for my dad, and seeing him so genuinely happy and grateful to have all of us around him, made it all very worth it.

At some point during the day, I looked at them, and even surprised myself thinking, “maybe one day, I will get there.”