When I worry about something bad that could happen, what actually makes me suffer, is to worry.

Not the “bad thing” itself.

Most of the time, the “bad thing” never happens anyway..

And when it happens, then my only option is to solve it, learn from it, and move forward.

So it doesn’t make me suffer that much, in the end.

It’s interesting how the anticipation of a potentially harmful event, harms us more than the event itself.

I don’t know why it happens.

But I have my own way of dealing with it.

For the past decade, I decided to live challenging situations, purposefully and (mostly) consciously.

Because the more I can prove to myself that I have the resources and the power to face them, the more I become self confident, and trust my ability to find a way.

– Talking to strangers in the street
– Traveling the World on a bicycle
– Developing and living on a tiny island

Of course each project and challenge has a purpose, vision and mission of it’s own.

But beyond this, the real “why” of what I do all what I do,

is to strengthen my mind and improve my ability to positively impact the World, at my own, very small scale.

It’s like being an artist.

Beyond what you actually paint today, the goal is to become someone who can create better art tomorrow.

So you focus on both, painting the best piece possible today, AND improving your art for tomorrow.

In my case, being raised in an environment filled with anxiety, worries & divorce (but still with a lot of love),

I always struggled a lot with self-confidence, trust and relationships.

I thought the whole World constantly conspired against me, and that people’s goal was always to take advantage.

I was suffering by anticipation, for things that would mostly never happen.

Or that I would provoke myself, unconsciously.

In some cases, I would even do myself to people, what I feared they would do to me.

By anticipation.

Today, I can reflect on this, and I understand all of those dynamics a bit better.

I grew more confident, peaceful, and overall, I believe I am a slightly better human being that what I used to be.

Not being afraid to suffer.
Not chasing constant pleasure.

Just focusing on becoming a “better artist”.

It may, or may not be, the right way to do things.

But it surely is the way that feels right today, as I write those words